Windchimes

March 3, 2004

Selfish

Filed under: Doodles, Blabs and Rants, Short Stories — didee @ 2:40 pm


a Certified pathetic piece!

I am a selfish person

Yes, indeed I am one. I am selfish for thinking too much of you when Im not supposed to. I dont have the right, and I dont have any reason of why I should let the mere thought of you rule my system.

I am a selfish person.

I am selfish coz I’d rather take a step back, away from you, than stay and have this fear of ruining what we have. Selfish for blaming myself of why I ever had this confusing, nameless, feeling towards you.

I am selfish for I seek nothing than to see you happy. Sorry if I made it my momentary mission to help you look for that someone, your someone. I am so selfish I could think of nothing else and long for nothing else but to see your heart smile. Forgive me if I had momentarily abandoned any other desire that may perhaps include me.

I am a selfish friend.

You deserve more than this. You deserve more than me. How could I ever let confusion get in the way of what I feel for you. Im trying my best not to let this affect how you see me. And so far, I know I am succeeding. You dont have any idea I feel this way right? I know you don’t. How could you, when I’m at one of my biggest performance. This is my stage, you are my audience.

I have a selfish heart.

I possess one which demands one thing from you. I demand “nothing” from you. Nill. Nought. Zip. Zilch. Not anything. But then, perhaps, that is too much to ask. Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me once you’ve figure this all out?

I am a selfish coward.

Perhaps cowardice is my middle name. A self-proclaimed risk-taker, yet I am left with not an ounce of courage to face what I truly feel for you. I jaunt around this road of denial until I can no longer take another step forward. A tired selfish coward. That is who I am.

It’s all about me, me and me. I never thought I am capable of this much selfishness. Forgive me.

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