James and I had a chance to talk with a Wedding Solemniser here in Singapore. Wedding solemnisers are civil servants who are invited by the government to have the authority to exercise marriage ceremony for couples.
She was working in one of the government bodies here in Singapore for 27 years. After that she was asked if she could be one of the few select individuals who can preside weddings. And she is a Filipino. Kabayan 
We had this chanced talk with her over scoops of Andersen’s Ice Cream. And we left being filled to the brim not just by the sweet delectable dessert, but also by the selfless insights which warmed our hearts.
She is a gentle and soft-spoken woman. One of those few who age with much grace and beauty.
While sipping her chamomile tea, and us having spoonful of raisin and rum dairy sweetness, she shared some tidbits of wisdom on marriage.
- Marriage is a decision based not just on feelings
- The relationship which can make you the happiest person one time can also be the very reason which can hurt you on another. But it is worth the sacrificeS.
- NEVER take each other forgranted
- Be wary of those things which can put the relationship in danger. It can be people, work or even hobbies.
- Accept your partner for who he or she is, without the intent to change him to suit your picture of a perfect person to share life’s road with.
- But being accepted for who you are, faults included, shouldn’t stop you from improving yourself as an individual. Love always wants to better himself/herself for the other person.
- Treasure healthy relationships around your relationship.
- Sometimes the give and take will not always be 50-50. It can sometimes be 70-30 or 90-10. There will also be times that one person can give more than 100% , while the other is down and in need.
- When the honeymoon stage starts to wane, DON’T PANIC.
- Know each other’s strength and weaknesses. Be each other’s strength. Support each other’s weaknesses.
- Put into heart the vows that you’re gonna make to each other. Know them by heart and recite them to yourself through the years, not just on your wedding day. To remind you that you made a commitment to be with this person.
- Marriage is one of the most beautiful journey two individuals can take as they became one.
There are a million and one tips and advises out there, but what I would love to hear are those that really came from the heart. The ones which once spoken by the giver brings with it heartwarming or bittersweet memories. Those are ones I would love to hear. And I had a scoopful of it last night.
You see, I see myself as a deep well eager to be filled with stories. Journey with me.
stock up on beautiful memories together, dee. those memories will be the ones that you come back to when you look at him snoring, all beat up, white hair and you want a younger man in bed instead. hehehe
bitaw, i think that is the reason my parents insisted on us having a beautiful wedding even if we wanted it simple lang. para kung mo tan-aw ka sa imong album sa nights when he sleeps in the sofa kay you have locked him out, you will just have to remind yourself why you married him afterall and that your wedding was the best one ever. make it memorable and don’t have to be costly but magical. ambot if i am making sense here. you will get there and know what i mean but not this time. concentrate on the magic of love. you will be fine.
Comment by konsuy — December 18, 2008 @ 7:48 am
Huhuhu thanks kaau chi. I will take this in to heart. You are making perfect sense, and I look forward to making more wonderful memories (and hopefully not have to lock him out from our room hehehe).
I do look up to you as a mother and as a wife. KickAss chic , who is much love not just by your family but also you friends. Hehehe watch-out lang nya chi ka kay basi mag ask2x nya ko nmu ug advise2x hehehehe.
Love you chichirooooo
Comment by didee — December 18, 2008 @ 10:33 am
agh! just reading this entry makes me teary-eyed! basta… long story!
Comment by ifoundme — December 18, 2008 @ 10:52 am
ei IFM…
is this about ur x-10 yrs? …
you take care k? it’s about time you put yourself first… and always choose to be happy.
if tour mo Asia, visit me here in SG.
Comment by didee — December 18, 2008 @ 11:26 am
i stumble upon your blog again *wink
oh, i always carry this with me. Somebody sent us this before we got married.
“Happiness is marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I LOVE YOU’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for franted. It i a relationship, in which the ndependence is equal. Dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner. It is being theright partner”.
And you know what, we had this words printed and we had it placed in our bedroom to remind ourselves everyday. It’s kind of corny but all those words are true. Now, we are on our 3rd year of marriage so far we are doing great. Just believe on each other. be each others best friends and remember that there is no perfect marriage nor there’s a perfect recipe to be happy in marriage dee. It takes two to tango exactly.
I hope i gave u some wonderful inputs before you walk down that aisle. Don’t forget to wear your smile on that very special day of your life. Congrats!
Ai (bisaya sad nga dako)
Comment by Ai — December 18, 2008 @ 2:15 pm
Aiiiiii!!! good to have you back here! It’s been awhile. Thanks so much for sharing this piece of treasure with me. As much as I think I am ready, I know that I have much to learn. We, James and I, both do.
I’ll share all your words here with him, for sure he will feel blessed, as I do now. We know that marriage is hard work, and we’re just praying constantly to be given the strength and wisdom and faith to have a happy home.
Congrats on your 3rd year together! Soon soon kay apil na sad ko ana nga club hahahaha.
Thanks for reminding me to smile on that day.. syaks.. scared ko muCry, pangit akong pictures if mag hilak ko huhuhu hehehe.
Ingat Ai… enjoy Poland
Comment by didee — December 18, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
yeah dee, im your secret reader here. heheh! i always visit your site for wonderful inputs. Nay dili jud kapugngan kahilak judka sa imong wedding day. Pero ingon sila it’s part of the occasion daw. True jud na ilang giingon nga you will feel butterflies in your stomach jud. nga dili ka katulog the day before. but really exciting. Excited for u.
Enjoy Singapore too.
Comment by Ai — December 18, 2008 @ 9:41 pm